Monday, December 30, 2019

random ewan-ness

so, it's 1:12 AM.

oh! make that 1:13AM.

and i'm feeling miserable because it feels like i have something, that is resembling a cold, by the minute. no thanks to my daughter, but my kids are always sick, so i'm immune to it. well, psychologically but not physically. i feel like a preschooler still trying to build up immune system. argh. anyway, so i’m all of a sudden feeling the urge to blog. everybody in my household is asleep and i'm here infront of my desktop, that i've been wanting to throw out the window for the nth time already (it's just so effin slow! and buying a new PC is not in my priority list) and sipping my cough/colds concoction. nothing fancy. just turmeric, lemon, ginger and honey. i always read/heard turmeric is good anti-inflammatory. that honey is good for coughs. that ginger is what you drink if you want to have a good singing voice, ergo i'm hoping it will help with my sore throat. deym, if ginger can miraculously give me an adele-like voice, soothing my sore throat would just be chicken feed to mr. ginger, right? lemon for vitamin C & because it makes everything taste good, lol.

i remember an older co-worker who once told me that if i got sick in the middle of a camping trip, boil water, put some lemon, honey and a shot of alcohol. any (edible) alcohol. right now i'm thinking of rhum. mix them all together. drink it.and cover yourself head to toe in blanket. the next day you'll feel as good as new. never tried that. but i want to document that here so i will remember.

i'm proud of my concoction though. it makes me feel better after drinking it. i don't know if it's just placebo effect but it's better than nothing.

enough of that side kwentos.

so what's been happening to me lately? nothing much. i'm still a full time working mom. my oldest just turned 4 and my youngest is getting more and more independent and i DON'T like it at all. being independent means she's no longer a baby and i want her to stay a baby...forever. i have long ago quit trying to stop my son from growing so fast so i'm just concentrating on slowing down my baby girl’s age right now. because, man, if i call my son a baby he will throw a tantrum. you need to call him a big boy. sometimes i will try ti sneak in the word "baby" in a very soft voice at the end of "big boy" and boy, was he upset (on a brighter side, he has very good functioning ears 🤣). he said he wants to get big like tatay. tummy and all. his words not mine.

speaking of my son. he's sweet & kind. i’m his mother, ofcourse i’ll say that. he is soft-spoken around people he just met but talks non-stop when he’s around people he’s comfortable with. he doesn't like to be in a small crowded room with lots of unfamiliar faces  (like me...i'm border line anti-social). he doesn't like noisy restaurants but he’s fine listening to the loud music from the sesame street characters’ parade. he reminds me of my sister-in-law. who also hates restaurants that are noisy. she prefers those restaurants where people talk in whispers (like fine dine ins). he's starting to come out of his shell at school. a few months back, his teachers would tell me that he's so mellow and they're working on him talking more. well, it's either they're regretting that now or they are proud of their achievement. i would think the latter. i'm sure they're used to talkative kids. but yes, he talks non-stop when he turned 3 years old and he’s not showing signs of stopping now that he’s 4. he's still mellow though and likes books being read to him or drawing on his rolls of drawing paper. and loves his sister so much. 

one time i was reprimanding her sister and threatening to leave her at the parking lot (empty threat ofcourse), my son was the first one to scream "no! don't leave priya".

yeah. my baby girl's name is priya. not because of priyanka, excuse me. i have nothing against priyanka but i'd like to point out that priya was born before priyanka and nick jonas became an item. no, my husband is not indian. he's a european caucasian (is that redundant?). we actually discovered the name priya from the tv show big bang theory. we like how it sounded like and we liked it even more when we found out that priya means "beloved" in sanskrit. she has a second name, an english name, so atleast she has an option just in case she doesn't like the name priya.

since we are already talking about priya. she's sweeter than keith if she's in a good mood. she will rub her face on your cheeks or arms or legs like a cat. and would meow too like a cat sometimes. i would meow back to her too when she does that. she likes to wrap her tiny arms around your arms and starts babbling what for her is endearment (2 toddlers and i still cant comprehend toddler-speak...hey google, how about a translator?) BUT when she's cranky, she IS cranky! she's worst than an old almost menopausal lady who's having her "buwanang sapi". very stubborn and would do the opposite of what you ask her to do. well i guess all kids are like that. but this little girl at 2 years old is something. she gets a time out more than all her brother's time outs combined. she is also very emotional. well, no surprise there.  that's a girl for you.

but i love her to bits. when she smiles, ah, you'll forget she tried to wipe her face on the chinese restaurant’s buffet floor while throwing a tantrum because she wants ice cream right now. fyi. we didn't give her icecream. she went straight to the toilet to wash her face and hands and didn't get icecream til she calmed down.

ofcourse i love my eldest too. when i come home from work and he says "mommy, i miss you" all those stress i brought home from work melts away. i love them both to bits. and no. i don't think i want a 3rd child. or atleast consciously plan for a 3rd child.

i have complications with both pregnancy and both had to be born before their actual due date. plus i don't like the feeling of being pregnant. the aches. the nausea. the trips to the doctor. the non-stress-test because i'm of "advanced maternity age". sus. di na lang sabihing matanda. pinaganda pa. i don't like worrying about whether or not the baby in my tummy will be healthy. studies says, down syndrome and other chromosomal defects is linked to old age. like the mother's old eggs. kasi di ba, we are born with a specific number of eggs already which means as we age, so are the eggs. i'm not saying i won't love the child if he/she's not healthy. ofcourse i will. but i will worry about that child when i'm no longer in this world. i'm a late bloomer. i will be 60 when they turned 20. if i croak, who will take care of my special needs child. ofcourse i trust my kids designated guardians. but i'm a mom. i worry about everything.

see. this post is all over the place. which makes the title of this blog appropriate.

so far. my kids are healthy. and i really hope and pray that God will continue to bless them and guide them. so many bad people on this planet that i sometimes feel it's so selfish of me to put them here just because i want to have kids. but i can only hope that we, their parents, will live long enough to guide them and that during our life on earth, that we have given them enough pro tips on how to navigate this adventure called life.


it's 2:07 AM.


i will be miserable tomorrow at 7am.

that's it for now. my  mug is empty.  i need to try force myself to sleep.

i came back to post a pic,
it's now 2:22 AM


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