On swirling thoughts and memories

  

i'm feeling pensive...

 

lots of thoughts swirling around me but i can 't seem to catch any... i want to nurture it in my hands and stitch a few meanings to it by attaching some raw emotions and unspoken words...

 

 

 

i want to write about who this sentence reminds me of:

 

"I like to believe I loved him so much that I couldn't make him choose. But mostly, I was afraid to find out who he'd pick"

but the thought keeps running away...

 

 

i want to write about how all those broken promises and all those who broke my heart lead me to him and how glad i am it’s him inspite of our differences… how he’s been a wonderful father

but that thought too kept flying with the wind...

 

 

 

i want to write about the could-have-beens and might-have-beens of this young love who suddenly vanished like a mist in the early morning dew....

 

 

 

i want to write about the childhood friend who i have loved dearly and learned to let go but never left and has come back to be the best friend one can ever have...

 

 

i want to write about the one that time and circumstances stole from me for a decade or so years ago and how surreal it was to see this person  once again and how natural it felt when we just picked up where we left off as if those years apart never really happened… but as fate would have it, we are meant to be apart…

 

i want to write how their story intertwined with mine.... how it somehow feels like they were put there in my path because the universe conspired to be so…. because they were meant to be there...  

there are some whom i know are not meant to stay, but i still want to put my thoughts of them into paper to prove that no matter how much the passage of time tries to erase these memories, in my heart it will all remain...

 

and will be revisited like a favorite book... to be read again and again and again...

 

 

i want to write about these memories...

 

i really want to..

 

but they all keep swirling away...