Life's mysterious ways

 I have been rocking mommyhood (well, at least according to me, pagbigyan nyo na ako, haha)  for 20 months now.  Hard to believe for someone who can't even grow a plant, lol.

Flashback...........


Year 1999.
"I'm sorry, P stopped sending people to the U.S. at the moment but just be patient they might again soon. Atleast, you already have your H1B and as soon as a position opened up you can leave right away. We'll keep you posted."
2000, I resigned.


Year 2001.
I was watching the September 11 attacks unfold on TV.
Shock.
Disbelief.
Horror.
“What’s going to happen to my job offer in California now?”


Year 2006.
"If you ask me to stay, I will stay".
"No, I don't want to get in between your life long dream".
"Will you follow?"

Year 2007.
"Where are you?"
"I'm on my way to work".
"I hope you're sitting down."
"Why what happened?"
"I got her pregnant. I didn't plan for this. I'm so sorry, but I can't walk away from my responsibility".

Year 2009.
Home alone.
A little too tipsy.
Halfway through a bottle of tequila (which I would never be able to look at the same way again).
“I am a strong, independent woman. I will not feel sorry for myself.
 Happy New Year to me.”

*sobs*

Year 2011.
New Year’s Eve. Paris.
“Will you marry me?”
For a second, the noise, the people's laughter, the whole city disappeared.
Wait, am I hearing this correctly? Am I dreaming?

Ahh, yes. 2011. The year I’ll never forget.

Just when I had convinced myself I was destined for spinsterhood, life decided to surprise me.
2011 marks my life's turning point.
Was I scared? Of course.
But I was also excited.
It will be a whole new adventure.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Amazing what life can throw at you. It's not always what you plan it to be or hope it to be but if we know how to take it as it is, ride with the flow and adjust accordingly, you'll be alright.

I made a few wrong decisions along the way. Or so I think. Looking back now, I realize those choices, messy, painful, imperfect as they were, led me exactly to where I am today....... and if I were given the chance to go back and “fix” them, I wouldn’t.

I remember my personalized wedding vow:

"I'm always amazed at how our paths crossed. I've never been so thankful for all those broken promises and for all those who broke my heart because they are like northern stars who pointed my way to you.

I love it, that out of all the thousand ways it could turn out, my life turned to you."

Every time I look at my husband sleeping peacefully beside me.
Every time my son flashes those mischievous little eyes, clearly seconds away from his next antic.
Every time I catch my own reflection in the mirror.

I’m reminded of just how lucky I am.
Blessed, if you want to call it that.

I still carry fears. I still worry about the future sometimes.
But I just keep reminding myself to "let go of what is not yet and enjoy the present".

Epilogue:

I was alone in my room, lost in thought, when suddenly I felt a kick.
The tiny jolt startled me out of my pensive mood.
And then I smiled.

“Just a few more weeks, little one.
Just a few more weeks.

Everything comes in its own time.
Like there's time for flowers to bloom or snow to sparkle.
There's a time for the moon to set and the sun to rise.
Just like when mommy met your tatay.

Just a few more weeks, little one.
Just a few more weeks, my little princess.”

-year 2017

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