Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Conception Anniversary

It has been a year since we found out that we were expecting.

I remember how jealous I was when a friend/ex-coworker who was sitting right next to me on Feburary 14, 2015, at a friends' wedding, told me she's pregnant. I was so happy for her but I was so sad for myself. We have been trying and I can no longer count the number of ovulation kits and pregnancy test kits that I have purchased.

After the wedding I wasn't feeling very good and I was blaming it on the egg I had that morning. I thought I had a bad one and it didn't help that my order of  "over well" was mistaken to a sunny side up.  I have stopped eating runny eggs for fear of Salmonella, but my fault, I ate it anyway. I was so enticed by my view of the Taal Volcano while having my breakfast that I just let it go and happily ate.

at 9 weeks

The next day, it was time to leave Tagaytay but I was still not feeling well. I was already not feeling well while on board Cathay Pacific from Newark airport to Manila, to begin with. I had colds. The day we left Tagaytay, I have colds, I have diarrhea, I was coughing and I was having an Asthma attack. I kept trying to tell myself I can't get sick because we still need to go to Singapore and Thailand and Bohol. So off I went to Mercury drug store and bought Decolgen, Biogesic and Ventolin tablets. "Kaya ko to!", I said to myself. Although it's more like, I was trying to convince myself na kaya ko nga 'to because I don't want to disappoint the hubby and I am really excited to go to Thailand.

From Tagaytay, we went straight to the airport so we could fly to Singapore. I was still not feeling well but alteast I haven't gotten worst. I even was able to meet with my college buddies in Singapore for late dinner the night we arrived.

an instagram post, capturing that night

I had to do my blood work and I was supposed to do it while in the Philippines but decided to just do it in Singapore. So the next day, Feb 16, 2015, Singapore time, very early in the morning, I   hopped on a train from Bayfront (we were staying at Marina Bay Sands) to go to Bugis for the Raffles Hospital (I didn't bother taking the hubby with me). I have my script with me with a "Stat" on it and instructions on how the hospital can send the results over to my doctor. Then I went back to the hotel, took a nap and then took hubby around (I've been in Singapore before, back in 2005). Then around 11am (still Feb 15, 11pm EST), I got a message from the hospital that they already sent my results to my doctor.

Come late dinner time, hubby and I decided to try this restaurant called Ku-de-ta (which is now called Ce-la-vi). I was still not feeling well. My taste buds are so off and I attributed it to being sick. I still have colds and was coughing. I was looking at the cocktails menu then decided to check my emails first. That was around 10pm, Singapore time or 10am EST. There I saw an email from my doctor. It was a secure email that I had to log on to an external site to see it, pain in the butt that is. So after trying to remember what my password was I was able to see my doctor's message. He said everything looks good and that by the way, I am pregnant. Then he gave me an instruction to do another blood test in 2 days. He wants to see if my hCG level doubles.

at 18 weeks

Two days later was when we leave for Thailand. Good thing our flight wasn't until the afternoon so I was able to go to Raffles hospital early in the morning again to do my blood work. Come evening of that day, I received a secure email again from my doctor telling me that my hcG is doubling, and, that yes, I am still very pregnant.

We were ecstatic and scared at the same time. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's a dream come true, yes, but having a kid is a lot of responsibility plus we are older couple so we're worried about genetic abnormalities, etc. But we decided to take things one step at a time. No need to worry about problems that is not yet.

We still went through with our trips but had to be more careful about what I eat and drink (gawd, that Thai coffee is really good, but I only took a sip). I still did ride the elephants. I still went snorkeling in Panglao (Balicasag). What I didn't get to do is massages. They don't want to massage a pregnant woman. Big bummer!

even though i know it already, i still bought a pregnancy kit while in
Thailand just to experience seeing those 
2 magical lines!

We didn't tell anyone I'm pregnant except for those who need to know. Like my manager and my Reformer Pilates instructor and the couple we're supposed to travel to Santorini with that year. Our plan is not to tell anyone until atleast I'm on my 2nd trimester. That's the rule of thumb, they say, because that's when you'll know the pregnancy is viable.

When I came back from our vacation the first thing I did was schedule a doctor's appointment. I want a sonogram. That's when they told me confirmed that I am high risk because of my age. This made me all the more cautious to tell anyone about my pregnancy since I wasn't even sure if the baby will "stick".

So we kept it a secret. I didn't even tell anyone back in the Philippines. I don't want to tell them the news only to tell later that I lost the baby. My thinking was, the less people who know, the less people I'll have to tell the bad news. I don't know. I was just so paranoid. Maybe because I still can't believe my dream is finally happening but there's a big question mark hanging over my head.

at 25 weeks

At 12 weeks we found out we're having a boy because we had to do CVS (chorionic-villus-sampling). My health insurance covers it because I was high-risk. We also did micro-array with our CVS because we want to cover as much genetic tests as possible. Why, you ask? It's for health, economic, psychological, and financial reasons. We are older couple. Our kid will out live us. If he/she has problems, who would take care of him/her if we're no longer in this world? Are we going to burden our other family members to take care of our special needs child? Even if they willingly take our kid, wouldn't that be selfish of us and unfair to give them that stress? We need to look at the bigger picture. We can't be selfish. We will need more complex planning, more complex preparations, lots of complex decision-making and we need to be mentally prepared if we have a special needs child, so we really want to know upfront, therefore those genetic testings.

Thankfully,  all the genetic testing results came out normal and again, that's how we found out we're having a boy

It was a semi-easy pregnancy for me. I didn't have to bond with the toilet bowl but I did have a lot of "almost there". I wasn't eating very well because everything is a gag trigger. Coffee smells like skunk. Some dishes smells like poop. It's like my nose turned against me. Food advertisements is a gag trigger. Seeing huge slab of meat is a gag trigger. The only thing that I can bring down my throat during my first semester are soup (non cream-base, otherwise it's a gag trigger) or  sour food.The first dish I made when I came back from our vacation in the Philippines is Sinigang.  Majority of the food I eat are sour food. If I can dip it in vinegar, I can eat it. Ice candy (or ice pops, as they call it here) are my life savers too. Come 3rd trimester my taste buds were back to normal but it's a different dilemma. This time it's like my whole anatomy is on strike. Everything was achy.

And here we are. February 16, 2016. Our baby boy is now almost 5 months old. Very talkative. Smiles and giggles on mundane and silly little things and is starting to know how to voice out his opinions.

God is good.