Saturday, March 30, 2013

On Jealousy


Someone you know, right this very moment, is having more fun than you. Someone you know is making more money than you, doing something more important, has better friends and has a happier ending. Or maybe, just better at Candy Rush game than you are.

On the other hand, right now, something in your universe isn't quite right. Maybe it is quite right, you're happy, you think you're contented but why is it that when you look at his/her posts about his/her new car or his/her newest travel adventures, you feel like smacking that person on the head?

Let's turn things around.

Have you noticed that there are people who can't stand hearing or seeing you happy? If you post travel photos on your facebook they'll accuse you of showing off. If you start showing photos of your wedding they'll accuse you of showing off. If you post a photo wearing a nice sassy clothes there would be some who'll accuse you of showing off.

I used to hate it when someone I don't like (or just semi-like) are doing stuff that I have done or worst I haven't done yet. I used to hate it when someone I don't like are visiting places that I haven't visited yet. It had consumed me so much that I kept thinking about that person. Then one day I attempted to dissect why I'm angry.

That's when I realized I was jealous.

That kind of jealousy is like surrendering yourself to that person and acknowledging that he or she is better than you. That kind of jealousy is acknowledging that he or she is a threat and you're accepting defeat. Who cares if he or she has been to Zimbabwe. So what if he/she had gone bungee jumping. I made a resolution that the next time I look at photos or online posts and I felt the urge to scream "show off" I check my EQ. I would try asking myself these questions:

Is that person really showing off or am I just jealous?
Why is it hard for me to be happy for him/her?

And it helps me to let go. It pushes me to start counting my own blessings.

On the other hand, when people complain that I post my travels too much or "jokingly" tells me I'm showing off, I just smile. Why? because I know their just jealous and I find it flattering. I find it flattering if someone, whom I know are doing better in life, still find themselves being outdone by me. That they still find me as a threat. I'm not saying this to be mean. It's just how I condition myself so I won't get mad at them. Everything is just a matter of perspective.


Jealousy is not a feeling. It's a thought.

So next time you felt a tad jealous about anything or anyone just keep reminding yourself that fulfillment comes from a sense of being contented at this very moment. If you can NOT do that, you'll never be happy and you'll never be contented and you will always get mad at people who are doing things you have never done or those who have been achieving things you haven't achieved yet.

Instead of getting jealous, make them as an inspiration. Take that as a challenge to do better. Maybe you need to start managing your time more. Or getting good at handling your money so you could save more. Things like that can go a long way.

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