i'm having twins

...not really

but i feel like that sometimes. that or i'm having an octopus for a baby (the way he moves sometimes feels like he has 2 sets of legs).

maternity photoshoot at 30 weeks

                    

i'm loving every one of his movements though. even if his jabs and kicks startle me. i cannot count anymore the number of times i have yelped and jumped on my seat because my little one had punched my bladder, either with his hand or with his head.

but i will not have it any other way. that is my assurance that he's doing well inside. i had to count his movements now and if it's below what is expected, i have to go to the hospital ASAP. so his jabs and kicks are good affirmations.

even though i complain a lot and i'm so ready to give birth, i'm still enjoying this experience because i might not have this experience again. it always fills me with amazement that there are two beating hearts inside me. his and mine. that there is a a tiny human being living inside me that has half my DNA. that this little one inside me would soon be filling our house with smile and laughters and smell of stinky poop, lol.

like any other first time parents i'm worried about a lot of things. would i do a good job? am i built for this kind of responsibility? will i be a good mom? a tiger mom? will i live long enough to see him get married and have kids?

so many scary stuff but i know negativity won't get me anywhere and would just make my anxiety worst. so i have to choose. either choose to think about all these negative thoughts and create problems in my head that is not yet or just enjoy the moment and take it one step at a time.

i chose the latter. 

one baby step at a time.

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29 weeks

i'm feeling the baby's kicks get stronger. i also noticed that he has now a pattern. like he's awake in the morning, starting 7am. then at some point he'll stop kicking late morning. then will start kicking again in the afternoon, around 2pm til about 5pm. then quiet. then kicks again at night around 8pm til midnight. not sure if he's awake during the wee hours but i did feel him kick from 1am til 4am one time when i can't sleep. hopefully he won't be like that when he's born. i'd love for him to be sleeping from 12am - 7am. ok, he can wake up once for feeding and to change diapers.

29th week is 3rd trimester, and like any pregnant women at this stage i'm feeling more aches and pains. my back hurts all the time. my hips hurts. my pubic area starts to feel heavy and i'm feeling some pain there too. OB said, the pain on the pubic area is because baby's head is probably sitting there now.

the back pain i sorta, kinda can fix by sitting on a yoga ball and rocking myself forward and back, with my feet planted firmly on the floor, so that it's only my hips that's moving. i also learned this stretching tip i learned during my child birth class where you lean your back flat on the wall and you slowly slide down into a squat and stay there for as long as you can. that gives me relief from back pain every time i do that. i try to add 1 - 2 seconds every other day when i do that. nurse also say it helps exercise my pelvic area when i do that.

i bought a pregnancy pillow from leachco and i love it! it's called back 'n belly chic. i bought a boppy pillow a few months back but it really didn't have much support and was too soft. i was trying to save money (back n' belly is $90 and snoogle is around $50) but i ended up spending more because i have both.

it's still hard to eat in the sense that i get full easily, and when i get full, my tummy feels extra heavy and i am miserable going in to bed. i try not to eat after 6pm just so my food had been digested before i go to bed at 10 (or 11). it's hard to stand now too. it makes me dizzy and it feels like my legs are giving in. walking can be daunting too sometimes, because my legs feel heavy. i'm wondering if they are just tight. i feel that way when i run and i don't stretch properly.


i guess that's it for now.

now for a baby bump pic.

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the herculean task of growing a human being

as i feel the baby inside me punch and kick and do somersaults, i can't help but be very amazed about what has been going on inside my body. it still amuses me that i'm "cooking" a human being inside me. 

when i look at images of fetus' stages of development inside the womb i'm  always filled with awe.  such a miracle. 

imagine, from a tiny blastocyst, no bigger than a poppy seed, to something that looks like an alien, with a tail, and then eventually to a fetus. it's just amazing!

embryo

and the most amazing part is how the heck did i help in making that happen?! the task of developing a placenta is no walk in the park. i have never felt so tired in my life and it peaked at 9 weeks. i always feel like i'm having a fever and i'm nauseous and feeling weird my entire first trimester. 

our little one at 18 weeks

those random cramps caused by stretching ligaments are no joke too. and i never would have thought i have to watch out whenever i laugh, sneeze or cough because it sure will be an emergency trip to the ladies room (i really need to get serious about that kegel thing).

supplying nutrients to a growing baby while enduring my internal organs being squished and displaced is no easy task too. i find it harder and harder to eat because i always feel like i ate a whole cow or have inhaled the whole golden corral buffet.

yeah, so many things happening both inside and outside my body but after all these i'm still scratching my head wondering how all those collection of symptoms and out of whack hormones contributed to growing a life. makes me even more proud of being a woman.

watch the link below to see how a woman's intestines get's squished/displaced

(full animation here: http://www.msichicago.org/fileadmin/Activities/Games/make_room/v2/mrfb.html)

and then ofcourse, when it's time, women have to endure the painful pangs of child birth, which to be honest is making me really really really (did i say really) scared but with God's grace and my hubby's support, i'm sure i'll get through it.

it's hard work but i'm still thankful for this blessing. very thankful. i just pray that our little one completes his full term and that he's healthy and with no abnormalities.

now for some pregnancy pic:

no stretch marks and linea negra, so far..

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2nd trimester

yeah. i'm pregnant. found out about it since i was in singapore (feb 16). we were keeping it quiet and was just telling it to a few friends and on as needed basis (ie: bosses, pilates teacher, etc) because i'm high risk and wasn't sure how long i will be pregnant. but since i'm in my 2nd trimester now, maybe i can start talking about it?

at ku-de-ta resto at marina bay sands singapore
- the day we found out i'm pregnant
2.16.2015)

anyway.

i decided to officially mark my week every friday (based on baby size) instead of wednesday (based on LMP-last menstrual period).

so every friday, since my doctor's appointment is very far apart (every 4 weeks), i treat myself with listening to the baby's heartbeat. like i did this morning. 

i sometimes have the urge to listen everyday but i feel like i'm annoying the baby with the sound from the doppler or with the doppler poking him so i figured once a week should be enough. it's enough for me to know that he's still alive and kicking (literally! he kicks the doppler sometimes).

as usual, he's such a wiggly worm. he moves around a lot. i can only hear his heartbeat for a few seconds then it disappears only to find him in a different spot. can you tell it's a boy? lol

 while using a home fetal doppler

update: i stopped using my home doppler since i started feeling the kicks.

on another news, i'm feeling normal and it scares me sometimes. being the paranoid FTM (first time mom) that i am, i'm always perpetually scared of missed miscarriage where you don't have cramps and bleeding but the baby's heart just stops beating and you won't know about it until your next doctor's appointment. but! they did say 2nd trimester is the honeymoon of pregnancy so i should enjoy this while it lasts because come 3rd trimester, i know would be miserable again.

the other nice thing about 2nd trimester is i have my energy back and my OCD side is back in full gear cleaning and organizing the house most of the time, if i'm not busy eating, lol. 

oh and yes! my appetite is back. i still can't stand looking at huge slab of beef but with a whole piece of chicken i'm fine. i've been having some hankering on cheetos and would indulge but i try not to overeat because i'm watching my weight. according to americanpregnancy.org, i should gain 1lb per week and that's what i've been obsessively watching. oh, and i've been eating a lot of watermelons too.

what i'm looking forward to is to feel the baby move. i think about it so much that  i've been dreaming about it lately. i am feeling some movements but i wasn't sure if it's just gas or muscle spasm, but they did say that you might start feeling the baby move on the 16th week so i'll keep an eye (err, hand?)  on that.

2 more weeks and i can see the baby again! i'm actually internally debating if i should move my ultrasound to my 20th, the magic number when every pregnant women does their anatomy scan but my OB says 18th week is fine. my OB also said i still have the option to move it on my 20th week if i want to know the gender but i already know the gender (since week 12). so i might just keep my 18-week ultrasound schedule and just book a 3d/4d ultrasound at week 24 at this place i discovered. i do want to see that tiny thing in the middle of his legs that makes him a boy (i just thought it would be cute to see), so hopefully at my 18th week i get to see that still.

schedule is : 5/21

now for some 2nd trimester preggy pic.

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